Drives Me Wild - Music

It Was A Calm Summer Night And One Ear Could Not See More Then Three Feet Ahead Of Their Faces Due To A Thick Mist. They Could Still Smell The Warm Salty Seaweed That Had Been Baking On The Shore That Day. Earlier Dee Was Starting To Regret Purchasing A Factor 10 Sunscreen When Clearly The Weather Called For At Least 20. She Had Become Convinced She Had Skin Cancer And It Had Taken Much Comedic Dancing From Greally To Stop Her Crying. Now However Her Bright Red Honker Was Helping To Guide The Ears To Safety And She Was Thankful For It. The Ears Had Spent All Day Playing Cops And Robbers On The Beaches Between Balbriggan And Rush. They Hadn't Realised Just How Far From Home They Had Gone Until The Sun Began To Set And Yetis All Over Fingal Began Pouring Onto The Beaches With Cans Of Royal Dutch Hoping To Set Some Cars On Fire Later In The Evening. One Ear Could Hear Their Crazed Wails. 'Nnnnnyyyyeeee!' 'Nyyyiiiiiee!' They Said Hoping To Attract Some Dirty Females To Poke And Slap Around. One Ear Knew They Had To Find Their Way Home For It Is Well Known Around These Parts That One Should Avoid These Creatures Around The Times Of 9pm 12am And 3am For This Is When They Are At Their Most Volatile. Greally Looked At His Crotch Watch. The Time Was 8 10. The Ears Were Running Out Of Time! "This Is Really Shit" Cried Eoghan As He Had Done Every Minute And A Quarter Exactly For The Last Ten Years. The Wails Of The Yetis Were Getting Louder And They Knew They Had To Get Further Inland If They Had Any Chance Of Surviving. But What Way Should They Go?! Kev Put His Fingers To His Temples To Activate His Logic. "Away From The Sea He Said" Pointing With His Mighty Arm. They Linked Arms And Moved Slowly Inland Guided By Dee's Honker. SUDDENLY Kev's Foot Became Lodged In A Pot Hole. The Ears All Tumbled To The Ground. Frightening It Was But They Giggled At Their Folly As They Tried To Pull Themselves To Their Feet Only To Find That All Eight Of Their Feet Had Now Become Lodged In The Ground. "These Are No Potholes This Is Shit!" Cried Eoghan "This Is The Bog Of The Moogles And They're Trying To Steal Our Dance Moves. Whatever You Do Don't Dance!". Rhythmic Thumping Was Beginning To Shake The Ground. It Became More And More Complex Until There Was No Doubt The Moogles Were Playing 70's Funk. Kev Was The First To Start Dancing Because He Didn't Believe In Creatures Who Could Steal Something That Wasn't A Material Entity. Dee Tried To Deactivate His Logic With Rhetoric But To No Avail. Soon She Herself Was Dancing Shortly Followed By Greally. They Were Being Taken Over By The Funk. Nothing Could Control Them. But Eoghan Stayed Strong. "This Music Is Shit" He Said And With That He Began Making Some Funky Beats Of His Own Using Some Empty Bottles And Some Twigs He Found Lying On The Ground. Eoghans Beats Were So Funky That The Others Became Confused. "Ignore The Moogles And Listen To Me" He Said. They All Focused Real Hard And Blanked The Moogles Out. Their Limbs Were Being Taken Over By Eoghan's Music. They Were Flailing Uncontrolably Like A Twelve Year Old Irish Dancer In A Queue. The Ears Felt The Grip On Their Feet Loosen. It Was Working! "Just A Little More Funk!" Cried Dee. With That Eoghan Hit Them With Some Seldom Used Time Signatures And Their Feet Were Free. They Ran Back Towards The Beach. Of Course They Were Glad To Be Free But Now They Were Back Where They Started. How On Earth Would They Get Home? Just As They Had Lost All Hope Greally's Pants Began Ringing. It Was His Sandwich. He Took Out His Sandwich And Answered It. "Hey Greally It's George The Lambay Island Gardener" His Sandwich Said. "I Was Just Passing In My Boat And I Thought I Saw Your Hair Glowing In The Mist Are You Lost?". Thank Goodness For George. He Picked One Ear Up In His Boat And They All Had Earl Grey And Barbequed Falafel. read less