Coke The Real Thing For Real Assholes - Muziek

Coke The Real Thing For Real Assholes by Bunchofuckingoofs

Bunchofuckingoofs

Biografie van de kunstenaar Bunchofuckingoofs

1983 TILL THE END OF THE WORLD Formed On A Dare In Late ‘83 BUNCHOFUCKINGOOFS Became An Entity When Ruth Taylor Of United State Offered Crazy A Gig Opening For Them At Larry's Hideaway. She Had Heard That The Back Alley Boys A Toronto Bike Gang Bicycle That Is Had Been Pissing Off The Neighbors As They Attempted To Play Crass And Dead Kennedys Covers At Their Walmer Street Boozecan Hammered In The Middle Of The Nite. Crazy Was Pissed And Of Course Said "sure Why Not?" When He Woke Up In The Morning Of Course He Didn’t Remember A Thing But Fortunately Ruth Saw Him At The Turning Point The Weekend Before And Asked Him If They Had Their Shit Together And If They Could Still Do The Gig. With A Bit Of Priming He Remembered Enough Bits And Pieces Of The Story To Believe It And Said "of Course We Can Do It." A Month Or So Earlier Some Cocksucker Had Broken Into The Walmer Street Can And Stole The Best Of The Shit Equipment That They Had So With Only Garage Sale Instruments And Amps Yanked From Old Stereos They Called Up Maddog On The Phone And Told Him They Had A Gig In A Week If He Wanted To Be In A Band. He Was In And Had A Real Drum Kit Like Two Of Everything So He Brought It Down Into Kensington Market Piece By Piece On The TTC. In Five Days They Wrote Seven Songs And Realizing That They Wouldn't Have Enough Material To Fill The Time Slot They Phoned Up Quarantine Another Bunch Of Fall-Down Comedians That Had About Seven Songs And Asked Them If They Wanted To Split The Gig. On Stage At Larry's Hideaway Quarantine Were Hilarious And When Crazy Steve Saw The Way The Crowd Was Reacting To The Comedy During Their Potential Hit "Vaginal Bloodfarts Burst Out Everywhere" He Said "we Better Call Ourselves A Bunch Of Fucking Goofs Before Everyone Else Does". The Place In The Market Became Fort Goof Their Headquarters And A 24-Hour A Day Seven Day A Week Boozecan. Chaos Ruled All And While Running Their First Bar The DMZ They Were Approached By Jonestown Records To Get Involved In A Vinyl Compilation With About Ten Other Toronto Hardcore Bands. The Record To Be Called QUESTIONABLE Was To Be Financed From Two Benefit Gigs One At The DMZ And The Other At The Quoc Te Across The Street From The Fort. For Whatever Reasons Most Of The Other Bands Opted Out And In The End BFG Did Three Songs And Shared The LP With Living Proof Animal Stags And Madhouse. In 86 One Of The Goofs' Entourage Inherited 30 Grand From Both His Parents Life Insurance Policies But Only After Doing The Time That They Gave Him For Their Double Shotgun Murder That He Was Convicted Of And Offered To Lend The Band Enough Cash To Make A Record. Steve Had Been Hammered For Months And Needing A Break He Thought That It Would Be A Good Idea To Score A Hundred Valiums To Help Him Chill Out During The First Stages Of Alcohol Withdrawal. Strangely Enough Steve Forgot He Quit Drinking Because He Did So Many Valiums And When He Faded Back Into Reality Everyone He Knew Hated Him And BUNCHOFUCKINGOOFS Had A New Double Seven Inch Called THERE’S NO SOLUTION -- SO THERE’S NO PROBLEM And A Record Company Back Alley Records. One Nite On The Way To Playing The DMZ Steve Was Confronted By The Cops For Drinking A Beer On The Street And They Gave Him A Real Hard Time. He Told Them To Suck His Cock And That They Better Get Ready For The Day When They Would Be Working For Him. On Stage That Nite He Told The World That He Was Running For Mayor In The Next Municipal Election And That They Better Get Ready To Get Everyone They Know To Vote. Of Course He Woke Up In The Morning And Said "What? Huh Mayor? Nah Let’s Go For Alderman". He Rode His Bike Away With 8.5% Of The Vote In The Core Area Of The Largest City In Canada Even Though He Had No Telephone For The Entire Campaign Spent Only $110 And Of The Month Allowed For Campaigning BUNCHOFUCKINGOOFS Did Three Gigs--Ten Days With Hillar Latioa's Play POUNDORAMA And Steve Spent A Few Days On An Island In Haliburton Shooting "TWIN DRAGON ENCOUNTERS" With Michael And Martin MacNamara The Twin Dragons. W5 Heard That The Goofs Were Toronto’s Answer To The Bloods And Cripps And Did A Special On Them And The CBC Was Daring Enough To Put Them On IT’S ONLY ROCK AND ROLL Hosted By Tabby Johnson And One Of Their Morning Shows. Then In ‘88 They Were Drinking With John Hopkins The Filmmaker And He Said That He Could Set Them Up With Some Free Studio Time As Some Kind Of Payment For Being In His Film PORTFOLIO So They Released DRUNK? -- DESTROYED? -- DEMOLISHED--The Demo And Sold A Couple Of Thousand Of Them On Cassette. BUNCHOFUCKINGOOFS Were The Band In The Futuristic Thriller THE CITY OF SHADOWS Played A Street Gang In The Pilot Episode Of T N' T Mr. T’s TV Series And Were The Bad Guys Except When Crazy Got To Be A Narc On KATTS AND DOG In More Than A Hundred Different TV Shows And Feature Films. The Fort Had To Be Abandoned Because The Old Owner Had New Ideas For The Space So The Goofs Gutted The Building For Him And Decided To Go Big And Stay Home By Renting 3200 Square Feet Of Space In The Basement Of The Now Extinct And Infamous 26A Oxford Street Warehouse And Calling It GOOFWORLD. They Scavenged Used Building Materials And A Never-Ending Stream Of Garbage Picked Furniture And Wheeled Them Through The Market In Shopping Carts. With It All They Created The Ultimate Playground With Two Soundproof Practice Spaces Where They Made T-Shirts Did Tattoos Fixed Bikes Recorded On Their Fostex 8-Track Studio And Sold Truckloads Of More Beer. They Had Room For 15 Live-In Animals Not Including Couches And The Floor And All The Dogs. The Band And Their Entourage Became To Be Expected To Baby-Sit Kensington Market By Patrolling It On Bikes With Their Dogs Punching Out Nazis Cokeheads And Rip-Offs At Every Opportunity. The New Music Saw That This Was Good And Did A 20-Minute Spot On Them And Even Though Crazy Asked Them To Question Him About Anything But His Haircut They Did Anyways And Got A Stupider Answer To A Stupid Question. Rolling Stone Magazine Also Thought That This Was Good So They Sent One Of Their Guys In From New York To Investigate The Situation In GOOFWORLD And The Guy Was So Blown Away By All That He Discovered That His Three Day Trip Turned Into A Week. Too Bad Rolling Stone Was So Blown Away By His Story. They Told Him That It Was Basically "unbelievable" And That They Weren't Interested In Printing It. Spin Magazine Picked It Up And Ran Part Of It Even Though They Had Sent Their Own Guy To Interview The Goofs But That Was OK Because That Writer Turned His Piece Into A Cover Story For Maximum Rock N Roll. In January 91 They Packed The Band A Sound Man Their Manager Two Dogs And Two Six Foot Plus Gargoyles In Flack Jackets Into A Rented Van With No Odometer And Fought Their Way Across Frozen Canada Straight To The Friendly Welfare Offices Of Vancouver And Back Home To More Beer. The Fort Started Being Something It Was Never Meant To Be So Like All Things That Were Once Good But Didn’t Deserve To Live Anymore And In Total GOOF Tradition It Was Put To Death. The DayGlos Were In Town That Day And Played The Wake Later In The Evening And The Next Day The BUNCHOFUCKINGOOFS Realized That With No Fort There Were No Beer Sales And With No Beer Sales How Were They Going To Put Out Their Next Record. Angus From FRINGE RECORDS Had Offering To Put Out A GOOF Record For Years And Since They Were Broke And The Band Was Playing Super Tight They Really Had No Choice But To Allow CARNIVAL OF CHAOS AND CARNAGE To Be Born. FRINGE Sold A Couple Of Thousand Of Them In Canada But Unfortunately Fringe Only Deals In Canadian Currency So The Rest Of The World Sat In Front Of Their TV Sets Rotting Patiently Waiting For The Word Of GOOF To Enter Their Homes And Lives Til Spring Of 99 When THE GOOFS Widened Their Assault To The East And The West And Across The Sea And Back…… Current Lineup Crazy Steve Gregoose Kator And Fetus Http //www.Myspace.Com/bunchofuckingoofs Text Credit Goes To Www.Bunchofuckingoofs.Com